I love banter; in fact, I thrive on it. I sit here zipping off the one liners on Twitter and laughing my arse off and fully enjoying the 10 p.m. inanity and nonsense.
Banter is an art, I fully believe. There are some blogs that do and some that don’t. There are two peeps who immediately come to mind as the Banter Queen and King. I respectfully crown them such here today – Queen Davina of 3Hats fame and her cohort King Bill Dorman (with whom I’ve only recently begun to share snark).
There are two blogs that immediately come to mind who banter well; is this intentional? Perhaps…visit SpinSucks by the venerable Gini Dietrich; she’s definitely in the King and Queen royal court. And, Ingrid Abboud aka Griddy at the NittyGriddy blog. That woman rocks the house; hands down – IN the posts every time!
And, this is the crux…banter typically comes alive in the comments, and I’ve been thick in the middle of blog comments that don’t quit; in fact, they continue over the weekend (@Shonali, @Gini and others who shall not be blamed, I mean named).
If you want to be a banterer, and that’s not like a bantam chicken just clucking all day, you need to look at a few things:
**Personality. Queen Davina shares that’s she’s an introvert; really? No way in Laxahatchie is that chica an introvert; if she is then I’m a man.
**Confidence. Do you dare to write that remark that rides the edge between acceptable and downright dirty? Who’s going to be offended? Do you care?
**In-The-Moment. It’s so EZ to get caught up in the moment and zip it off; ensure your comfort level is accepting of what comes back because social media can and will provide that intellectual stimulation (I crave and cannot get in my day job and location).
**Clever (not cleaver)ness. Let’s face it, banter takes a semblance of intelligence on a plane where true meaning and implication fly on a higher plateau. If you don’t get the joke, it’s OK, just don’t ask “what does that mean?” of someone on a roll.
Not every blog banters all of the time; in fact, banter happens when you least expect it. I wrote a post at midnight recently in 10 minutes (Is Goal Setting Genetic), hit publish and did not edit, rewrite, get nervous whether the voice was too strong or offensive or whether the person I was picking on was going to hate me. (Turns out she laughed her patoot off, and suggested I write in that voice every day; heh, impossible.)
Want to get crowned banter royalty? Insert yourself in comments; start there and you can’t go wrong. Share me some banter-ful blogs, would you? I think it’s time to make a list so we can all belly laugh, cuz it’s so healthy.
(credit: Balooscartoonblog.blogspot.com)
Careful I might have to send you some boxer shorts. 😉
Flattered you named King Bill my cohort and compare me to the likes of Ingrid and even one of Gini’s clones. (Still need to look into minions or henchmen.)
I AM an introvert, until you get to know me.. or I am comfortable knowing you. Offline because of these factors including a lack of confidence and being too self-conscious, I’m the quiet one, the wallflower, hanging on the outskirts of the party. I just guest blogged at @lorigosselin:twitter on the differences in offline vs. online personality. https://lifeforinstance.com/2011/05/09/online-offline-are-you-the-same/ If I’m a banter queen, it’s because it is online. My jokes are funnier here b/c you folks get my ‘in jokes’ as related to PR and SM, b/c IDK.. it’s somehow easier for me to quip silliness in writing, for an audience that appreciates such things. (Offline, family and friends roll their eyes and think since I’m not getting paid to blog and tweet, it’s lame and a waste of time.) I will say the online fun has helped give me more confidence offline. Fear also comes into it; I have less to lose out here. I may offend potential would-be clients that I don’t know, or one of you may decide I’ve gone to far and not send me a certain referral.. but I’ve embraced the ‘being authentic’ as my excuse to not stress that. It’s taken some time as I’m sure my blog/comments a few years ago were a lot less banterific and a lot more boring. FWIW.
Cannot match this. What you said. Like.
That was pretty cool, huh. We is somebody……….
Hi Jayme,
@davinabrewer:disqus and @bdorman264:twitter are two of the visitors to my blog [www.lifeforinstance.com] who raise the fun level. They banter. A LOT! There are others doing that there too – makes for a lot of fun! And it balances the seriousness of some topic. Once I wrote about laughter and @karynbuxman:twitter came over. She was great in the banter department because humor is her business!
I think I just got lucky, because me: I’m not funny!
Lori
IDK.. I think you’re funny. And we have fun on your blog, you let us get silly and post off-topic replies .. makes it interesting.
Lori, I’m coming to your house. Griddy gave us all a tremendous list of blogs to visit; I hope yours is on her list as I’ve made it a goal to hit them all and be better about comments, sharing and returning favors like comments here. Thanks for coming and doing that!
You will never get out of there; Lori keeps asking these open ended questions and it throws you into the loop…..you’ll see…….:)
All I know is she wants to hug me…a lot.
Oh, you are a riot; let me just give you a hug and make it all better……….
Jayme, Jayme, Jayme…
I know I’m a bit late to the party but I have no creative excuse for you other than the sorry one’s you hear about work and life and blah blah blah getting in the way. So I figured, nahhhh…just be honest and tell her you’re late, you’re sorry and that you sat in the corner for ten minutes thinking about what you had done and why lol ;).
Loved this post – cause one…you mentioned a few of my favorite peeps, two…what you said about @davinabrewer:disqus aka the empress and QATA as well as Bill who I’m still trying to find a good nickname for – couldn’t be more true. Yes, they bring a new meaning to banter but they do it with style, wit and respect – which is what makes the difference. I’d like to think I do the same ;).
Seriously though – my comments section or what I like to refer to as “Central Perk” wouldn’t be the same without people like Davina, @bdorman264:disqus @twitter-82923382:disqus Gini, Danny, Marcus, Howie, Shonali, Brankica and many, many others who make the journey more well worth it and then some! Banter is what often creates those mile long thread – which in turn lead to blog post ideas, friendships, fun, learning and all that other stuff.
Banter is what entices others to join the conversation when they come visit because they see the blog as a friendly place which makes others feel at home and treat it as if it were their own.
I’m all for banter, but I do like the balancing act as well. And all the folks you mentioned here do just that. They know when to joke and let their wits loose and they know when not to.
As for our dear Aunt – well, her blog is just the epitome of what blogs should be like. You go everyday, you learn something new, you joke around a bit and poke fun at her and some of her friends (including yours truly haha), you leave your meaningful pennies, you make a couple new friends through the incredible community that she’s built (again, I’d like to think we share that in common – along with several other folks) and you leave with a smile and wait to come back the next day!
So Hail to the King and Queen and to the BOBS (Blogs of Banter and smarts) ;)!
And thank you for this wonderful shout out – truly flattered by what you said about me here – I can go on with my day with the silly child-like smile I’ve been wearing since reading this.
Have a great weekend.
Cheers
As long as you bring the sangria, Griddy, you can be as tardy as you wish! Seriously, a pleasure having you here and for such a long time, too! Honored, ditto, inspired and all that jazz. If we (I) could only be more like you, the blogosphere would not know what to do. Happy Friday, Lady! Thank you.
Sangria it is :)!!!And thank you so much for that kind reply Jayme. I really appreciate your thoughtful words. That smile of mine just got even bigger – seriously – cheek bones starting to hurt now lol ;).
I was going to banter that it’s too early in the day for Sangria.. but not for you Ingrid, so you just enjoy your weekend and have one on me. 😉
I sure will Davina – you can bet on it ;).
Sangria it is :)!!!And thank you so much for that kind reply Jayme. I really appreciate your thoughtful words. That smile of mine just got even bigger – seriously – cheek bones starting to hurt now lol ;).
I don’t think they drink Sangria in Lebanon; I think it’s some goat milk concoction served warm if my recollection serves me……..just sayin’….
Actually it’s a hummus smoothie…!
Hahahaha!Hommus smoothie – talk about the extra kilos eh? 😉
Hahaha! You will just have to come and see for yourself Bill. You’d be pleasantly surprised with the drinks menu here hehe.
Look at you still being nice to me, and after all I have put you thru……………….I tried to be low maintenance………………good thing I’m lovable, huh? And to mention me with that crew, whew I guess I am in the party now, huh?
There are a couple of fun houses out there and yours is definitely one of them. Jayme and I started going after each other right off the bat; she was saying she dated a guy that we almost had the same name and I was trying to convince her how cool he must have been….but she wasn’t buying it; she said she dumped him……..
Good to see you at Jayme’s and you probably know by now if there is free food Dorman is likely to show up.
Have a great weekend.
I meant to come over here yesterday, and then I got engrossed with the banter over at my place… ironic, eh?! You’re absolutely right – banter won’t happen all the time, unless you’re @ginidietrich:disqus , @Griddy:disqus or @davinabrewer:disqus . I think it’s terrific when it happens, but I’m not going to beat myself up when it doesn’t… some posts just don’t lend themselves to it.
I think what does start to make it happen is when one concertedly makes an effort to go to other folks’ blogs and comment there, or reply to other comments – that’s how I got to know @bdorman264:disqus , for example… or @skypulsemedia:twitter . As you start getting to know them, they take the time to come over and I think if they feel confident that you won’t take it amiss, then they’ll banter. So I think the personality that your blog projects is important too… is it a place where the welcome mat has “banter” written on it?And all the time I’ve been writing “you,” you know I’m speaking generally, not to YOU… right?!
For me it comes when I least expect it; the beauty of banter is you can’t force it. People who try are so see through and that’s different than transparent! (How’s that so?) Thanks for coming, now git back to your house, there’s lots going on over there. Someone has to uphold the PR world, eh?
Finally back up and running after a week of office construction and NO office Friday when you stopped in. So frustrating. Thanks for making a pit stop here especially with all the BM going on at your house (uhmm, that wasn’t a reference to anyone’s bodily functions but to the “leading” PR firm).
You’re right…when comments are fielded, shared and re-commented you get a good flavor for the peeps writing and style. That makes it easier to make it fun. Like you, I have to write about some business stuff, too; has to be a healthy mix. Thanks for coming, Shonali!
You said arse……………..you’re not from around here are ya?
Wow, you just put me in some pretty high cotton (are you catching my drift? I’m just a dumb redneck from down south USA……:). I do think it’s great the international flavor (or flavour for some of you) and to see the different take on how words are spelled.
Everyone of those people you mentioned me with I would take a bullet for; lay down in road for; be a shield for; I think you see where this is going. It’s one thing to always play nice in this arena and heap praise but Gini; Griddy; Lori and Ms D are about as genuine as you can get and I feel a tremendous friendship with them.
Thanks for sending me the heads-up because it made me realize I’m not subscribed to you. This drinking from a fire hose gets touch at times so I need to get as much directly in front of me as I can.
I have certainly enjoyed the banter with you as well and can tell we are cut from the same cloth.
As I tell all my friends, don’t be afraid to save me from myself whenever necessary.
I like the banter back and forth and sometimes, depending on the topic I might keep the whole exchange serious but that is very hard for me to do. I am ‘always’ looking for the humor. If you have never checked out @karenbuxman please do so; she is the master at this.
I hope you have a lovely day.
Please do not subscribe to me; I like have zero to few subscribers so the pressure is off me a bit more. In fact, stupidly, I have no idea how many subscribers I have; perhaps I’ll go look and panic. Just watch for tweets when the post is too important to pass up. Thanks for stopping in, King.
LIKE!
Jayme, you can count yourself among the Queens of Banter! Your 1 liners, RT zips, and in real life dialogue always make me smile. Less than five minutes after meeting you in Knoxville, you had me laughing out loud and working on my quick come-backs! Love that. Folks like you, @davinabrewer:disqus , @Griddy:disqus , @ginidietrich:twitter , sweet @twitter-82923382:disqus and the invisible, yet highly featured @l:disqus bdorman264 keep me smiling at my computer and hoping one day we will all get together at a party (I hear Griddy is bringing Sangria). As you know, there are many, many others who do this for us, but I really like the ones you’ve featured here!
You rock hot for putting me in these guys’ cool company. I do love to zip, but I won’t rent a Zip Car b/c I value my life. So glad we got to be in the flesh with clothes on. (OK, I'[m really not forcing this, it’s just happening…call it a headache…XO!)
Banter: the beverage of choice among “royalty”:) So much fun!
Dont be sneaking around on me; I’ve got my eye on you……………it’s a good thing you didn’t try to use ‘my’ phrase………just sayin’…..
Ah Bill…I was trying my ninja moves here…and how do you know I don’t have “your” phrase ingeniously encrypted somewhere? Just sayin’….:)
I’ve hash tagged it; google alerted it; got Homeland Security tracking it…………..so beware……………this is not a game.
Not a game indeed. I’m conferring with my associates under the “cone of silence” (before your time?) and deploying my security as we speak. We shall prevail!
Ah, the cone of silence; I better pick up my game……….
Watch out, cuz the shoe phone is next…
I love to read a bit of banter, but it’s always hard with humour without paralinguistic info. @ginidietrich is great at the quip, and @markwschaefer:disqus
is always funny.
For me the most important thing is a considered response, something I can think about. Twitter is better for banter, blog comments for thoughts.
Jon, I think it does to @Griddy:disqus balancing act. Gini and Mark are very funny and quippy. Depending on the post, I’ve seen some really thoughtful comments tinged with lots of humor. It always varies and sometimes the humor or joke is spot on for illustrating the point of a post or discussion, I think @HowieSPM does that very well. FWIW.
Yes, you’re right. I guess I’m just talking about myself really as I’m not super confident using humour in comments in case I get something wrong culturally.
Excellent point Jon one I’ll touch on next week: humor does not always translate, and at least your kind enough not to tease me for misspelling it. 😉 Cultural differences as well as personal/professional styles will vary, so one person’s quip may be another’s bomb. It’s also about audiences, knowing the crowd in NYC will likely have a different sense of funny than in Atlanta than in Stockholm. I feel I know part of my blogging community fairly well, am more comfortable being this way. This post was about banter, so I feel freer to be sillier; on something more serious, I probably don’t.
Hey, Jon! Blog comments for thoughts…hmm, well you had better start following around some of these peeps in the comments section — no way are “thoughts” too top of mind — “banter” and jokesterism are absolutely #1 and #1!
A good community turns a blog into something more than just words.
Isn’t that the truth, Jack! Thanks for popping in to be part of it, too. Come back!
“No way in Laxahatchie is that chica an introvert.” LOL!! I’ve met Davina in person and she is, in fact, an introvert. Does that mean you’re a man?! I’m on my way home from Counselors Academy and I saw @bobreed:twitter there who said, “I can’t believe I get abused on Spin Sucks and now in person, too!” That made me laugh really hard because it’s VERY indicative of the community that’s sort of building itself (with a little help from you in my absence). I think you have to invite debate and banter. Someone else said to me that he appreciates how I formulate my opinion and then invite others to debate me. He said it’s not the formula most top bloggers use and he likes it… a lot. But my feeling on it is that I am not going to learn if everyone agrees with me so the banter helps me think about things differently and I grow…as a person and a professional. there who said, “I can’t believe I get abused on Spin Sucks and now in person, too!” That made me laugh really hard because it’s VERY indicative of the community that’s sort of building itself (with a little help from you in my absence). I think you have to invite debate and banter. Someone else said to me that he appreciates how I formulate my opinion and then invite others to debate me. He said it’s not the formula most top bloggers use and he likes it… a lot. But my feeling on it is that I am not going to learn if everyone agrees with me so the banter helps me think about things differently and I grow…as a person and a professional.
I also think the tonality and word choice of your own content is what drives the welcome mat, Gini. People can tell I’m pretty loose when it comes to the free speak, well not as loose as @3hatscomm (Queen D); however, I relish the ‘raderie as it makes my day working as a loner in a basement. And, THANKS for yours!
Think that’s why I gravitate to blogs like yours, Danny’s.. you invite and encourage debate, want that feedback and exchange of dialogue because it helps us all see things differently and grow. I’m the same, just makes me a better professional, better communicator. And see @soulati:disqus Jayme I have a witness; I met people including Gini at a tweetup, yet stayed to small little groups rather than going out into everyone. I am naturally shy and self-conscious, have to work against that in person. In writing, things are much different… I could be @a76049f6a32a1e633a732b81bafb98c9:disqus and maybe get away with it. ;-);-)