This is a pse
udo guest post pseudo intended for Lori Gosselin’s blog, based on her post yesterday, “Despair, How to Carry On.” After I so boldly suggested I’d like to write a guest post based on her article yesterday; and I pseudo invited myself to do that in comments; and Lori politely informed me there were many other peeps who have been in her community longer (so get in line, Jayme); would I like to post something around Christmas? (I politely responded, “What came over me…sorry…what was I thinking; no thank you.”)
Because the inspiration struck me and I couldn’t wait for Christmas; I need to get this out of my head and in to yours for all to feel.
There are people who acknowledge life’s pathway and the obstacles on the journey. In fact, behind every blogger, there’s a personal story. Did you know Danny Brown tried to kill himself? Did you know Gini Dietrich was raised as a Mormon and had her bicycle tire tapped by the front of a car while biking over the weekend? Did you know that Shonali Burke has strong family values and features her parents and grandparents frequently on her blog? And, Michelle Quillin is a youth minister who adores her husband and business partner, Scott?
These are the things we’re permitted to see, and the things that remain private are the most powerful stories of all. Lori’s story about despair and how we pick up the pieces each day to carry on struck a chord. I begged her in comments to find me anyone who hasn’t despaired in life – whether from illness, death of a loved one or friend, loss, or just plain depression.
When I was in the dregs of despair, it was a black time. There was no end in sight; I lived in fear for what would happen, and I let ignorance and negativity control my every waking moment. There were times when I’d break down, sobbing uncontrollably until, spent, I was able to pick myself back up and carry forth.
For anyone in despair, I offer you this:
Never attempt to look for the light at the end of the tunnel; just look forward to each passing hour and get through one day at a time minute by minute.
When you seek support from others not living your situation, understand there is only so much other people can manage. Know you need to focus outward on them; ask after their health and family, and you’ll feel so much better.
Count your blessings. There is ALWAYS someone in worse condition than yourself; trust me. Such individuals are not hard to find, you’re just not looking beneath the surface.
Ask for help from Above. You may pray to whomever or whichever Supreme Power who guides you; it matters not. What matters is that you’re giving it up, releasing it for another to manage.
Find your inner strength and work daily on making yourself powerful; rise above others’ anger, hostility, and return that with kindness, generosity, and a smile. It won’t work until you truly let go of your own negativity, and then the pieces will slowly fall into place.
Write, write, write. Release all the bitterness and agony onto paper. No one needs to read anything; it’s for your benefit and no one else. If you’re letting go or closing a door, then burn the papers in a camp fire and free your spirit.
As I write this, the tears spring and flow. You see? For all the intensity of personality you get 99 percent of the time, there is 1 percent called sorrow that pops in and out when life’s obstacles burden. For me, I remember those downtrodden days and how they shaped me into a Goddess Awakening. I was meant to be on that path, and for all its agony, I’ve been given more gifts.
I listen well, I love you, and you’re my friend. Do you need me? I am here.
Jayme, Jayme, Jayme… what can I say. Thank you for sharing, my friend. I’m here too.
I love you. That is all.
xoxo
Erica
Please tell me this doesn’t mean you WON’T do a GP this fall Jayme! I loved that you asked (and my coach “liked” your comment!) We’ll find a different topic – I can see that this one couldn’t wait. And why didn’t I ask you for help with the title – I like yours better 😮
I love your Goddess Awakening! So many times we feel despair when we’re turning a corner – we don’t LIKE turning corners. We like it exactly the way it was, thank you very much! This economic down turn has been challenging for so many people. But it put me on a path I’d never have found. I don’t know how it’s going to turn out yet, but I’m trusting in the guidance that comes and my intuition and my budding ability to hear that voice.You did a great job with this one Jayme – can’t wait to see what you do for Life, for instance!Lori
I would be honored, Lori. And, thank you.
Wow, that was pretty strong and I’m so glad you shared.
We all go through periods of despair and your suggestions of getting through these periods are excellent points to consider. It’s not like flipping a light switch; it’s more like just putting one foot in front of the other and doing the best you can do.
Don’t ‘despair’ about the GP; mine was so bad Lori allowed me to gracefully bow out before it saw the light of day. Sometimes I just need to be saved from myself………………just sayin’……………..:).
I really did enjoy your post, it was the bomb.
My friend; I thank you.
Life still holds plenty of surprises for us all, and each moment we wake up it’s difficult to imagine anything more beautiful than the day ahead, which truly lies down and allows us to use it as we wish. We’re literally walking down a broad, dappled path filled with light and shadows and forks and bridges and caves and cliffs. And the path itself is moving, inexorably, on time’s hour hand. It gently sweeps us forward always, as the sun reaches the top, and then sinks down sympathetically to let us rest, grieve, and plan as the next day prepares itself–for us. We despair when we stop on that moving path, legs splayed, eyes shut, arms wrapped around ourselves until time bears us on either to our final destination or to a place that’s quieter than the rest, where we’re no longer too afraid to look around us again, to take deep breaths, and to be helped to our feet.
“God does not lay on anyone a burden too great for them to bear” is an empowering quote from my holy book that I hold dear, that forces me to recognize that I’m stronger than the day in front of me, no matter how mighty it may seem. Seeing the light ahead is beyond us, but carrying on with the help of a light inside makes the darkness surrounding easier to navigate, and the day ahead is always less frightening to ride.
I’m so glad you’re here, Jayme.
The like button seems so ungratifying with your incredible gift of words, presence and spirit, Shakirah. Love. Light. Peace.
What an awesome post, Jayme. Really. I’ve not read something so powerful on a blog since Jenn’s guest post about her illness a while back.
I love the fact that you dare to show something else about yourself, other than the smart business lady I know you are. I’m very proud of you (to echo @markwschaefer and his post yesterday.
Jon. My Friend. Thank you.
Laaate to the party! As usual!
Thanks Jon for the shoutout, that’s so nice of you. All I can say is that it’s been a real surprise to me how that affected people, but I’m always happy to know people care.
I thought that this was great. My favorite piece of advice in this was Never attempt to look for the light at the end of the tunnel; just look
forward to each passing hour and get through one day at a time minute by
minute.
It is very wise because it takes an overwhelming situation and breaks it down into small pieces so that it doesn’t feel so…overwhelming.
The Jack…our friendship begins, thanks for sharing so much of you in your writings and visiting with me here.
Thank you for sharing so much, so deeply, and so thoroughly. I think you hit it with your single statement:”Never attempt to look for the light at the end of the tunnel; just look forward to each passing hour and get through one day at a time minute by minute.”I would add that it is ok to imagine the end of the tunnel, and it is ok to compute the time it will take to the end of the tunnel, and it is ok to realize there are lots of other tunnels. When you are in a tunnel, it is also kind of important to realize and to remember that a tunnel has a beginning and an end… otherwise it would be a hole.
If you think about the end, the time it takes you to think about it is time that has passed in your reaching for it. If you compute the time, you realize that time doesn’t stop, and your journey through the tunnel WILL reach the other end. When you realize there are other tunnels, you recognize other people in other tunnels, and every second you devote to helping them gets you closer to the end of yours. Finally – if it is a problem with “a hole” or a problem with AN a-hole, those things pass with time too. :-)And Jayme, when you say “Count your blessings. There is ALWAYS someone in worse condition than yourself; trust me. Such individuals are not hard to find” I think you’re hitting on something amazing… That is MORE than just the premise of most reality television… it is an objective place from which you can reevaluate your tunnel. Am I unhappy to be working at 830pm (or at 342am) with no end in sight? Sure – but I’m thrilled to be so fortunate that I have a job where I’m needed all hours of the day and night – particularly in such a miserable economy.
Thank you again. Simple elegant soul-baring is cleansing for the author, and enriching for every reader.
I love when you come by with so much to give. Whether it’s tunnels, holes, super women cartoons, laughs or ambulance chasers you bring a richness to our community I cherish, John. Thank you.
I don’t know what to say other than I love how passionate you are and so deeply caring. Your passion oozes through everything that you do. I appreciate that you care so much. Know that there are a lot of people (myself included) that are here for you too. Glad to call you a friend!
Sweetness. That is all.
I pull strength from my own self, since my beliefs (or lack thereof) is different from everyone else. I also invite you to go see what very personal secret I exposed about myself over on my blog today.
Thanks for sharing, Nancy. Stopping in now.
Jayme you are an inspiration! Thanks for pushing through those dark moments to get to the light. Thanks for being here.
We had an interesting conversation on my Rules of the Road blog post. Here I was writing about cycling and Erik Hare said, “But Gini…this absolutely is social media related. We forget there are other human beings out there when a machine is involved.” In the case of my blog post, the machine is a car. In the case of social media, the machine is a computer. It’s easy to become self-absorbed and forget there are other people around us. And too many of us judge based on 140 characters. One thing I would encourage people to do is pay attention to other’s around them and ASK if they seem amiss. A lot of people (cough, me, cough) won’t ask for help, but they sure will accept it if you offer.
Another reason how we’re related. As you’re reading here and responding, I’m having a parallel offline conversation with a blogger about whom I kind of know nothing but his writing called to me. I asked him to pick up the phone because I listen well; I also asked him how I could help; perhaps offer another perspective. He’s struggling; it’s apparent, and if I can be of support, I will.
BTW, I’m aghast and agog that that flippin’ car bumped your tire. I mean, Gini, you could’ve been flying in the air with the greatest of ease. I know you know that; it’s just unbelievable. I’m so sorry; that’s so scary.
People are jerks. So he taps my back tire and I fly off my bike and into traffic. What kind of big man does that make him? I can’t imagine he feels good about himself at that point. I was pretty clear about pointing that out when I got off my bike and stood in front of his car.
Not sure how it is you’re so calm about this; but maybe you weren’t. At least you’re safe to tell about it.