I recently came off a low point bordering on downright “depression.” Shhh, I don’t like to allow that word into my vocabulary as I hate feeling down in the dumps. Sometimes it’s just plain unavoidable.
When these lows happen, I usually fall pretty hard because I’m a 99 percent up person – always glass half full, seeking a belly laugh, giggling at a stupid tweet, and wanting to find the happy each and every day and ride that wave.
But, when everything, it seems, just collapses onto my shoulders from the uncontrollable Mother Nature escapades on the house and vehicle, the start of school and new accelerated math requirements to client relationships that are trying and doubting and tales of lives lost and hearts broken – ohmygosh. It sometimes becomes too much to bear, and I know I’m not alone with these feelings.
Yet, all I want to do is be alone and muddle through. That is why I took a bit of a hiatus from the blog – no incentive, the words would not flow, the ideas were like molasses pouring from a bottle with a small neck.
As a result of this low point, I took the opportunity to grow – as a person, as a coach, as a practitioner, as a friend, and as a mom. Because, when I really dissected what was making me feel so dumpy, it had much to do with criticism; which I always take to heart regardless of whether someone is in the right or wrong in saying what they’ve said. This is part of the challenge of working for yourself – there is no one to balance the thoughts, decisions, actions, or choices.
And, you know? I have NOTHING to complain about; hopefully, this is not coming across as a complaint. It’s all about my own personal strength and spirit as I traverse this blogging and social media journey.
There’s been much lament of late on the blogosphere. Bill Dorman wrote about it this week on his blog – what’s up with everyone “the lights are on, but no one’s home.” Many wrote in about change – there is job loss, ill family members, waning interest, time pressures, the glories and hazards of a job hunt, and people just wanting a change. I feel it, for sure. I yearn for the glory days of Twitter of yore, and it will never be the same. These feelings add up to a gray-to-black cloud hovering above, don’t they?
For me, it’s always a relief to climb out of the hole; for others doomed to reside in there, I feel compassion as it’s never easy to pick yourself up with a solid exit strategy from bottom to top.
My few suggestions may be silly to others, but they work for me (please add yours?):
1. Hit the trails early morning and when the fawns cross my path I stop and stare at their gorgeous faces in wonder and awe.
2. Focus out on someone else who needs a boost more than me and put their needs in front of mine.
3. Kiss my child and nurture her to grow with strength of spirit and this spreads warmth through my heart so it glows with love to share with everyone.
4. Ask how I can help someone I see having a bad day; that support is so precious, and when it comes to me even in a simple tweet, I’m thankful.
5. Send a greeting card (Cardthartic is my favorite; all about “Honoring Emotions”) to someone unexpectedly. You’ve got mail! Yeah! When was the last time you sent a card/letter to anyone? It’s part of who I am and I’m raising my child to be the same. It warms you that someone took that precious time to think of you that much.
I know this is a hokey post and off base for me, but you know what? I’m not going to pull the wool over your eyes and make you believe that I’m not human and need a hug sometimes, too.
Phew! I’m glad you hit publish. We have a client who writes a blog. I help him with it so I know he has a three-part series coming up on creating a winning attitude. One of the traits (I think it runs next Tuesday) is about serving others, which is what you have in your list, as well.
That said, serving others, when you’re already feeling overwhelmed, can be a bad thing. For instance, on Saturday, I got my feelings really hurt in a Facebook group. Rather than lashing out, which is what I really wanted to do, I stepped away from the computer, my iPad, and my phone for a day and a half. A few people texted and emailed and DM’d, asking if I was OK because I was nowhere to be found online. But I needed Gini time to regroup so I could serve them again.
It’s OK to have a bad day or a bad week. @parkridgedds:twitter and I always joke that it’s a “pull the covers over your head” kind of day. We all have them. And that’s OK.
I love you tons, twin. I’m 150% in your corner!
Sorry to learn about the FB debacle — when someone as nurturing and giving as you gets feelings hurt, it must’ve been a bad scene. Shame on them.
Like. “Pull the covers over your head.” Don’t frequently do, but to acknowledge it happens is very therapeutic in its way, too.
With friends like you…thanks, Gin Blossom.
No hokey, it’s a perfect remedy to focus your thinking outward and willing to lend a hand to someone else or brighten their day. It keeps you away from the ‘woe is me and nobody loves me’ thinking.
If you read some of the responses to my post it is interesting to see most were in agreement about the shift but all had their own perspectives or what that shift meant to them. I know we will never go back to the glory days of twitter, but it sure seemed a lot more fun an innocent to me. It appears there is a sharper edge to everything now and @skypulsemedia:disqus made a good point about a sense of desperation among a certain group. I see it, I hear it and I feel it and all I will say is it’s not pretty.
Oh well, since my focus hasn’t changed much which can be looked at as either not growing, or content for now with what I’m doing; everything else is just noise to me right now. When the dust settles I will be able to see who is still with me, who never was, or who my new friends will be. Nothing more, nothing less………….
I’m still enjoying what I’m doing but sometimes it’s like my day job; we have to keep a happy face and positive talk regardless because everyone is so tired of talking about how bad the economy is and it doesn’t appear our politicians will be able to work together to do anything about it.
That is my story for today.
How long you been on Twitter, Bill? I’ve been on 2.5 years every single day. You want to speak about change? Wow. I have to say, we’ll probably be feeling these sentiments awhile; the election season is going to be extremely cantankerous and ugly — in fact, I’m absolutely dreading it. I feel you; you feel me. #ThatisAll, King, That. Is. All.
Awww…. virtual bear hug going out to you!
There is nothing like brightening up someone else’s day and what better way than reaching out! My “oh I am going into depression” days are always bettered by calling my closest friends; bunking work and going out for a girls day out… good food and good company! And yes, some girly gossip to relive all that fun! 😉
Hajra, great suggestions and wonderful of you to stop in to bear hug me…thank you, Lady Friend!
I’m so glad @twitter-17925141:disqus mentioned me in her comment so that I could stop by here. This was a post that spoke to my heart. Gini’s right…there are those powerfully strong “pull the covers over your head” kinds of days that take a ton of energy to overcome. Like you, I am not generally a negative person…I am positive and upbeat…everyone’s cheerleader. But…there are days. It’s interesting that you shared this post because @NancyDavis:disqus just did a guest post on @DannyBrown:disqus ‘s blog about Bloggers Do It With Feeling encouraging bloggers to write from the place within you that “feels” and that is just what you did here and it is a beautiful post! I loved your 5 steps to help you out of your hole…they are excellent because everyone of them takes the “you” out of the equation and puts the focus back on others so that you are forced to leave the “pity party”. Thank you for being so open and thank you Gini for bringing this blog to my attention! I’ll be back!
Claudia
Claudia, so nice to make your acquaintance. We’ve been bumping heads over at Gini’s house a bunch; just never polygonned (yes, a polygon is a shape where with a vertex that intersects or some 4th grade accelerated math malarkey … there’s a test today and guess who’s studying?).
In Chicago I was for 18 years and went to Park Ridge nearly every weekend. Miss you, miss it.
I did see @NancyDavis:disqus post @DannyBrown house, and you’ve given me the lovliest of compliments today; thank you so very much. For coming, for sharing, for acknowledging. XO
You and I know all too well how empty your cup can feel sometimes when you give so much and don’t see it coming back in. I think the best tip is to focus outward and on your children. I know when I do that, I immediately begin to feel better. There’s so much “out there” right now that can bring you down and if you choose to focus on it or on a place of scarcity, rather than abundance, it can indeed lead you down a dark path. I agree with you (in a comment below to @bdorman264:disqus ) re: the election and the ugliness to come. I recently took on a campaign to manage …the filing date is not until Feb 2012 and it’s for a district court judge seat, but we’re already talking strategy. I’m bracing myself. I’m going to have to find positive places to retreat and places to put the negativity that will inevitably surface. Having done this before, my main role is to deflect, to redirect, and to stay focused (or rather, keep the candidate doing those things).
That’s not to say that when the low points come you should ignore them. I do not think that’s a good strategy; rather, explore them and then learn and grow from those low points (as you’ve done so well) to get to your next point of being. Well done, my friend. xoxo
Oh, my! A campaign in these troubled times!! I’m agog!
Thank you for such lovely sentiment and so Spot On, Ms. Allison.
Wow, Erica back into the arena. Good luck!
On a positive note, I think you might be spared much of the worst of the national stuff in NC. Unless the polls turn, hard to imagine NC will be in play this cycle. We’ll see; a year’s a long time. Either way, @soulati:disqus and @bdorman264:disqus and I will be sure to enjoy the finest of high-minded discourse with the barrage of campaign ads we will see in the battlegrounds of OH and FL!
The worst part is the campaigns end up killing us when we go to buy media — shoots the prices through the roof.
Absolutely love these comments because it focuses upon reaching outwardly beyond the individual, which if your suffering from the doldrums, definitely helps. Once you reach out to others, inevitably, you bring back something good to yourself whether its a feeling, friendship or an accomplishment.
Thank you, Dynamic! So great having you visit today; I very much appreciate your thoughts, too.
I blame soccer. That kids game will depress you every….single….time. Keep your chin up and things will get better soon.
Who’s calling the kettle black? I’ve been reading you; your girlfriends who don’t, ahem, and the plight of your home invader. Ditto you, The Jack; Ditto You.
You and @twitter-17925141:disqus nailed it. Sometimes to snap yourself out of things you have to focus on serving others – it will create joy and nurture your feelings of self-worth. Helping others brings me true joy; it’s part of what fulfills me as a human being.
On the other hand, there are days when I know that I’m just so low that I will do more harm than good when serving others. Those are the days when I’m so full of emotion that I want to lash out. Those days are my “pull the covers over my head” days. Sometimes, depending on my schedule I’ll find time to do just that and let a good cry out. Acknowledging my feelings and letting myself feel them is the first step to getting back on track for me when that happens (as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone).
Gosh, I have to admit…have you ever watched that movie Meet Joe Black with Brad Pitt and Anthony Hopkins? I’ve never seen it and happened across it over the weekend. The daughter is saying good bye to her father who is going off to die. I lost it; absolutely and completely lost it. I was home alone and was astonished at the depth of my reaction. Perhaps it was a culmination of Trey Pennington and Anton Hammerl and the mere thought of losing my dad. Perhaps, too, that was my turning point to begin to come out of the doldrums.
Hey Jayme, glad you’re back in the swing of things! They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so in the spirit of #4, I just tweeted you something I hope will bring a smile to your face. 🙂
Thanks, Adam! I’ve not been commenting either as that is challenging for me when I’m in poor spirits. I hear you also have a new focus on your blog, and that’s wonderful. I hope you like where you’re heading better than before. I will attempt to make it over to your house; thanks for supporting me!
HUUUUUUUUUUUUGS
I have 2 remedies. First, I make my gratitude list! What am I grateful for? To practice, I’m grateful I know you and many of the commenters on this blog. I’m grateful I’m as healthy as I am, and I’m grateful for my cat, Clio, who has been by my side for 12 years this month.
Second, I watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8Nc8RCLy1s (get about a minute in, and yes, this is a power song for me)
Hi Soulati,
Sorry you went through a slump like that, but as you can see through the comments, we’ve all been there, will go there and will return = yay!
What begins my assent out of a slump is the gratitude I feel when I think of my children. It all starts there for me!
I also like your #1, 2, 4 and 5 – (I used to make greeting cards for a living LOL)
Hang in there!
Lori
Thanks, Lori! I know you know all about this with your blogging journey. And, at the end of the day, “for instance, it’s life!”
Sending you a virtual hug, Jayme! So sorry to hear about things. But, I’m glad you shared this with your community. Sometimes, blogging can be incredibly cathartic. Though, you often have to “let it marinate” before you can talk about things you’re going through. I find I would rather talk about something after the fact than when I’m in the thick of it.
Everyone has their own way of working through things. Some retreat, others plunge ahead. And a lot of it depends on the situation. I love your suggestions, though. I find hanging out with my girfriends, going on a date with my husband or going for a run help turn things around for me. In fact, here’s a post I wrote several months back after coming out of my own funk: https://flybluekite.com/2011/01/18/what-gives-you-joy/
I think we all need “me” time every now and then. You’re right to take yours. But, thanks for coming back and letting us know where you’ve been. We’ve missed you! 🙂
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