“…once you articulate how success will be measured, everybody tries to game the system so that they are measured in the best possible way,” said Clayton Christensen, Harvard Business School professor and co-author of, “How Will You Measure Your Life?“
Here’s one man who, in the last four years, suffered a heart attack, was diagnosed with cancer and had a stroke which caused him to learn to speak again one word at a time, is the embodiment of inspiration and how we need to forget about the pay check and live with a loving heart.
In my home, I’m teaching Kidlet to “live with a loving heart.” Each time she shares a fifth-grade drama story with me, I inform her to focus outward, live with loving heart and be kind.
Clayton Christensen is using theories from his new book in business school so that his students can find happiness and integrity. He shares the following, extracted from CNN Money, October 2012 in The Money Interview, “How Should You Measure Success? Management Guru Clayton Christensen Says To Total Up Your Relationships, Not Your Pay Checks.”
What’s below is an extrapolation from the article, so I alert you. I am so enamored of this interview and this man’s amazing heart (at Harvard no less!), that I had to put it here for you, too.
Clayton Christensen says, “I believe that the source of our deepest happiness comes from investments we make in intimate relationships with our spouse, children and close friends.
There’s a big difference between motivation (in the workplace) and incentives. Many of the factors we think will cause motivation, such as fair pay and a good manager, won’t make you love your job.
The things that really make our careers are almost always the opportunities that inadvertently arise. We need to have a better balance between a deliberate strategy and staying open.
The satisfaction you get from investing in other people stays with you your whole life.
Be impatient for profits (in business). Get to market quickly as you can with the least money possible to figure out, “Does this strategy work, or do I need to tweak it?”
The more I focused on the problems in my life, the more miserable I was. Every day of my life I need to find somebody else who I could help to become a better person. Once I started to reorient my life in this direction, the happiness returned.
The most important piece of planning for retirement most of us need to think about…is, ‘How are we still going to orient our lives on helping other people become better people?’”
My Thoughts
This interview moved me so much I immediately sat down to write. This man, “arguably one of the most influential thinkers in management today,” has put his personal health crisis into constructive teachings for others to create a legacy based on helping others succeed, focus outward and not engage in self pity.
Each of the bullets above, extracted from his interview in Money magazine, are solid reminders and counsel for each of us to look within and determine if narcissism or nurturing control our way of life?
And, please do find and read Peg Fitzpatrick’s blog posts I’ve included here. After I wrote this piece, Peg’s post on Happiness Jars appeared the next day; talk about good karma in support of my happiness pathway. For me, the word, “happy” is elusive. I never know how to answer it when someone asks me whether I am, so I never do. I skirt it. The bar is so high, the expectation so fierce to be “happy.” What about you? Do you answer that question with a resounding “YES?” Can you?
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YES!
Great article, Jayme!
My answer to your last question is yes. “For me, the word, “happy” is elusive. I never know how to answer it when someone asks me whether I am, so I never do. I skirt it. The bar is so high, the expectation so fierce to be “happy.” I think that most people feel like you do, that “happy” is elusive. I am blessed with a gift from my Grandma and that was her positive outlook and permanent smile. She didn’t have the easiest life or much money but what she did have was the gift of making other people smile and she used it daily. I’m so lucky to have her example to live by and I make the choice to smile everyday too. My life has all the challenges that every else’s has too but I wake up each day with a smile. One of my kids has the same disposition. I think the bottom line is that we are all different and have our own gifts and that’s ok. Being who we are (whether that is happy, thoughtful, quiet, supportive etc) is what is important. Come up with a response that is honest for you to the “are you happy” question like “I am being the best me that I can be” or something like this. So many times these vague questions that we ask each other like “how are you today” really require a rhetorical response.
Thanks for including the Happiness Jar project in your post. I feel like just the right thing comes along when we need it.
@PegFitzpatrick Great idea, Peg. I AM a positive and smiley and giggly belly laugh person. It’s just that when that question is posed, I begin to think of the strife in my homeland or the people without a job. Can I be happy in light of these negatives? That’s where I struggle to attain that happy quotient.
That said, I prefer to laugh very loudly, and it’s soooooo healthy.
Happy is a sign of a peaceful inner spirit, too. It’s so infectious, and your avatar goes great lengths to show who you are all the time. That was an incredible post — a Happiness Jar. Couldn’t believe the timing of it!
@Soulati | B2B Social Media Marketing It makes me happy when I share something that touches someone else. I love Elizabeth Gilbert and the idea of being grateful every day is perfect. No matter how bad the day is there is always some jewel that stands out as the bright spot.
My avatar was a self portrait I took in the bathroom before work to post on Facebook before work. That is me, without coffee, being me. 😀 Thanks, Jayme.
Hey Jayme,
I am not wanting for anything but I am driven. Happiness to me is when I am driven toward a future of possibilities. If I feel trapped in any way I usually get out. Maybe that’s why I have had 7 jobs in 23 years in the design biz.
Happiness is a tough one for sure but in a general sense I would have to say yes and that’s because of my opening statement. I am not wanting for anything. Everything I have I have earned the hard way and because of that it all sits well with me.
Great post, great attitude and thanks for the kick over to @PegFitzpatrick . Could you BE any more positive Peg?
@rdopping @PegFitzpatrick Good response…I, too, am driven and all I have I have built myself. No handouts; no help; no second income. If I paused to dwell on that, I think I’d be overwhelmed; rather, I just keep on keeping on as there is no one else to make the motor run.
@Soulati | B2B Social Media Marketing @rdopping
Same here, sister! I’ve been on my own, without a net, since I graduated high school. We are lucky to have high powered internal motors that generate all the hard work which makes it all look so effortless. We know it’s not.
@rdopping Your response reminds me of Chandler from Friends. 😀
@PegFitzpatrick @Soulati | B2B Social Media Marketing Really? How so?
@rdopping @Soulati Chandler started that whole phase could you BE anymore…thing. It was in a good way. 🙂
Hi Jayme,
Years back, when I was in school I also maintained a sales job. Once a month, the owner and I would go out for breakfast. At this time, my goal was to make as much money as I possibly could in order to pay for school and have a few little extras. He and I often took time to reflect on my goals.
At one particular breakfast meeting, after I had worked every day of the summer for three months, the owner asked me what makes me happy. And I responded by saying that I love meeting new people and helping them make more informed decisions. I really honestly felt this way.
Then he said, Okay Geoff. But what truly makes you happy? At that point I couldn’t answer. From that point forward I was determined to find happiness every day. I felt inspired and purchased a camera. I started taking pictures and feel in love with the art of photography. I absolutely love it!
Years later, another professor of mine talked about the 70k happiness factor. Once you have made 70k anything more won’t make you any happier. For me, life is all about connecting with your passions and doing what you love and it’s not at all about the money! Jayme, thanks again for sharing. I have been quite engaged with Clay Christensen and he truly has an inspirational story. Adopt an others focus and live with a loving heart. Awesome!
@GeoffReiner Woah?! You actually know Clay Christensen? Now that blows me away…great story here, Geoff. I’m feeling like this is a blog series in the making. Maybe it’s a 12Most story; maybe it’s a new blog all together — The Happiness Blog — The Happiness Quotient — Happy Is As Happy Does — Finding Happy…???
Like we all have time for another blog, but heck we could make my little dormant The SMB Collective into a happy party!
@Soulati | B2B Social Media Marketing
LOL I definitely need to work on my online communication skills. I don’t know Clay Christensen and when I said I’ve been engaged with Christensen I forgot to include “the work of”. My sincere apologies as I did not mean to mislead you. I am very familiar with his work and his story and it’s truly an inspirational one.
And yes, I think we should definitely start The Happiness Blog. I came across a few happiness projects that are pretty exciting and I thought to myself, there’s always room for fun 🙂
“They say money can’t buy happiness, but I’d like the opportunity to find out for myself.” heh heh.
I spend more waking time with my work colleagues than I do with my own family. That’s just not right! But our economic system demands it. I’ve been trying to think how I could change that. My first thought is being independently wealthy.
But this “The satisfaction you get from investing in other people stays with you your whole life.” truth.
@jennwhinnem You know how I am…you get that I worry when people are not reporting in. That’s my love for All and all for one? kinda thing — until you do me wrong. We are at work more than at home; that’s why I put so much onus on social media — y’all are my workmates! When you’re a solo at home, there is no one to gab with!
@jennwhinnem When I gave up the office lease and gave everyone the opportunity to work from home, morale increased dramatically. But I also noticed something else. *I* was happier. If I need to throw a load of laundry in during the day, I do that and it’s not a big deal. My marriage is in a fantastic place this year and I think it’s due in part because I’m not in an office for 14 hours a day.
@ginidietrich @jennwhinnem yeah, but I bet you’re on a plane nearly 14 hours a day!
@Soulati | B2B Social Media Marketing @jennwhinnem Nope! I’ve been home for almost a month and it has been GRAND!
YES, me too!
Tired but definitely happy.
On January 1 of this year, Mr. D and I started (I guess what’s called) a happiness jar. Every day we both put a note in there about something funny or nice that happened with the other person. We’re going to read it all on New Year’s Eve. It’s been a super fun experiment because we both want to sneak and see what’s in there.
@ginidietrich I was just thinking about you today, Missy; hoping all is very well with you and by the sounds of it, you’re doing grand. So happy to see you and I know that Jar with you and Mr. D is the perfect remedy.