Conversation by Patrick Bohnen (Photo credit: Kraemer Family Library)
Those without hearing impairment can hear, but are they listening? Ear buds allow the outside world to be ignored and an entire new world of escape to tune in.
When you speak with someone face to face, you can tell if they’re listening or distracted. It’s pretty easy, and then when the phone vibrates in the pocket, that instant intake of breath and dart of the eyes take focus from a conversation and onto a device. Onlookers can see the internal question posed by brain waves — who’s calling, emailing, texting, pinging?
How do you listen?
Can you hear a conversation on the phone and tune in without multi-tasking? Do you focus entirely on the caller and give him or her undivided attention? How do you listen to your kids’ stories from school — the drama among BFFs or the playground battles that are so critical to the kidlets?
Listening to clients means you can provide better services and deliverables and work product. Listening to conversation means you can create blog fodder like this (inspired by a phone conversation). Listening intently means you listen with purpose, and what that breeds is respect.
Next time you’re having a meeting or gathering with anyone and you’re face to face, please give that person your undivided attention. They deserve that courtesy and you deserve to be respected.
Listening is the product of communication. We’re creating a society of non-communicators especially amongst millennials and teenagers. Parents are to blame, and today’s youth are this nation’s business future.
When you listen, do this:
1. Shake hands to get the tactile going. If you’re not IRL, then ask a question about the caller’s well being to personalize.
2. Look people in the eye when speaking.
3. Keep all hands on deck and out of pockets or purses; that iPhone is not going to sprout legs and run away.
4. Hear what people are saying by tuning in.
5. Respond in kind and with meaning; and I mean FOR REAL.
6. Erase all invasive thoughts from that moment and focus.
7. End with a smile and a thank you.
What think? Resonate?
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I thought this was going to be about social listening/monitoring, but this better. It IS hard to really listen sometimes. Your tips rock.
For phone calls, I do like to take notes on a fresh page in my notepad. I just write down key phrases. Then I use them to ask questions in review (your #5).
The most important thing for me is simply to remind myself that I can’t do a good job without caring and listening. If I find myself talking too much… I usually doing something wrong.
PS: of the hundreds of comments this post will get, mine will always be first. Whoo- hoo!
OK… I just got out of a meeting with a guy I absolutely love. There were three of us, and some of what was said didn’t apply directly to me, so my mind wandered. No fault of anyone, mind you. Maybe the meeting wasn’t structured so well — no agenda, no set time to end the meeting, etc. But I did think of this post more than once during the nearly TWO HOURS!
@barrettrossie ouch! I would have shot myself just to get outta there.
@barrettrossie That’s funny. You thought of me, really, right? Not what I wrote? Right. Kidding…heh. If my content resonates during a mundane meeting, that’s a #RockHot.
@barrettrossie hundreds of comments?? I think I’ve ever only had perhaps 150 (perhaps) max like once! Silly goose.
Listening is so critical today. Being acknowledged is even more important. I acknowledge you for being first to the party! Now come back 3 more times so I can get you back for luring me to your house thrice!
Did someone say something? Just kidding! Great post my friend:) Cheers! Kaarina
@KDillabough Phooey. I can’t hide. You knew you were in my head when I wrote that, uhmm, WORD. And, your ears MUST be burning alongside @barrettrossie too. You’re being tawked about!
@Soulati | B2B Social Media Marketing @barrettrossie :)))))
@Soulati | B2B Social Media Marketing @KDillabough What word?
And furthermore, I can’t see anyone not listening when Kaarina speaks.
@barrettrossie @KDillabough You didn’t know, Barrett? it starts with an M and has a hyphen. I’m its queen and Kaarina is the Catholic nun with the ruler.
@barrettrossie @Soulati | B2B Social Media Marketing Wow…honoured:) And yep…I banish that multi-tasking word, and chase Jayme around with the ruler. (now that didn’t sound quite right, did it). This is almost becoming an awesome #TeamBlogJack!
@KDillabough @barrettrossie It’s only because I have this group of folks I dearly love, called MY COMMUNITY, who make it fun, warm, friendly and banterrific!
@Soulati | B2B Social Media Marketing @KDillabough @barrettrossie What’s with all the shouting. I GUESS that’s the only way they’ll listen, right?
@Soulati | B2B Social Media Marketing @barrettrossie I like that word: banterrific:)
@rdopping @KDillabough @barrettrossie That was pure emphasis; there’s a distinct DIFFERENCE! DID YOU GET THAT? lol
Great post, Jayme! the tagline for my business is Listen | Explore | Evolve with a *big* focus on Listen 🙂 Listening is such a basic concept. Unfortunately many people don’t seem to get it.
Yes, I get that it’s difficult to “just listen” when multitasking. But It’s basic etiquette. And etiquette never goes out of style. Or does it? maybe the term will be archaic in a few years w/ the way millenials and teenagers are being raised?!
@itsjessicann Hi!! So lovely you came by. Had no idea listening was such a strong topic; apparently, we’re all failing in high-attention listening. I’m very worried about the teens, pre-teens and millennials. I have direct and hands-on knowledge/interaction with a few of them.
I’m sure we’ll be seeing studies soon about the techno generation raised with a device attached to their bib.
What can we do? Fix my own doorstep first, I imagine!
We are totally sympatico on this issue. Totally.
I posted this back in February to a fanfare of nothingness https://theviewfromhere.ca/2012/02/how-does-cirque-du-soleils-blue-ocean-help-us-navigate-the-perils-of-multi-tasking/ Who knows, maybe it will get some new life here!
@rdopping Just visited. That’s a great post! I wonder if your title is too long? Should only be 60 characters? Not sure. But, I gave you a tweet! Thanks for coming over and for ALL the support.
@Soulati | B2B Social Media Marketing who made up that rule? 60 characters. Did I miss a class again?
@rdopping Do you have a plug-in called SEO …shoot, what is it…there’s an SEO plug in that limits your headlines to 60 characters; same for blog titles. You can name a blog one thing and go down to your SEO plug in on your dashboard and call it another headline with an excerpt.
The excerpt is what appears on your posts (Facebook/G+/LinkedIn) when you send the RT out. Do you have that? If not, let me look for the name and I’ll tell you.
@Soulati | B2B Social Media Marketing No. I don’t have that. If you think it helps then I would appreciate it immensely. Cheers!
The same holds true in any relationship. How many times have you said to your spouse “I told you this….were you listening?????” I have a rule when I speak to my husband, he has to take his hands off the keyboard, eyes off the screen (tv or computer) and look at ME! I completely agree with this post. It’s about respecting our fellow humans, not our electronic devices. We sometimes forget that the people communicating to us in person should be respected way more than those via phone/email, etc.
@SandyAppleyard Great comment, Sandy. Thanks for coming over. I have no husband, but I find myself challenged to give the same respect to my child. When she sees me working on whatever device, she wants to speak, and I’m not listening and can’t at that moment. We have to find a happy medium so I can finish my business (West Coast clients interfere with family time on the East Coast zone) and pay attention to her. I’m struggling, and December ALWAYS kicks my ass.
@Soulati | B2B Social Media Marketing I hear you there! I have two kids, a husband..and a cat! It’s not an easy balancing act with writing, blogging and everything in between. December is tough for everyone, you’re not alone. Hang in there 🙂
@SandyAppleyard Tonight, helping with math homework, I couldn’t put my notebook on kitchen table. So, I went off for a bit — my child has 4 desks in this house littered with pencils, paper, erasers, Japanese erasers, markers, bookmarks, notecards, and gods know what else. And, I can’t even use my kitchen table for the clutter.
Guess what I’m doing now? Just cleaned off the family room desk tossing and Good Willing so she can put her laptop and homework and junk there.
I should be good until Monday with that.
@Soulati | B2B Social Media Marketing We haven’t used our kitchen table in months for that same reason. We eat at the couch…..:)