Credit: Brian Meeks, Author
Generally, the last five seconds of the 29th minute of the 10th hour every day are, at best, much like all the rest. Not for me, though. I can tell you what I was doing during those five seconds every Tuesday through Sunday for the last year.
I work in a wholly unremarkable cafe in mid-town.
The list of things I know about her could fit on the side of a coffee cup. She has green eyes. Her hair, black, has gone from short to shoulder length and back. She doesn’t have a favorite coffee, as far as I can tell. Some of the regulars mix it up from time to time, but her order is always a wild card.
The first week I thought she might be a lawyer because of the suits, but then there were shorts, dresses, and once, a gorilla outfit. I asked her, “Are you an actress?”
She said, “No, I’m a gorilla.”
She once wore a black burka and followed it up the next day with a pink one.
She sits in the same booth, if it is available, sets her coffee to the side and looks at her watch. When it is time she closes her eyes, inhales slowly and then exhales. She opens her eyes and that is that. She sometimes reads the paper, does a Sudoku, types away on her laptop, or just stares out the window.
In March and April the sun light floods the booth and her olive skin speaks of angels. It doesn’t matter if I have a customer, I spend those five, precious, favorite seconds, watching her singular breath. The world goes quiet and for 4.9 seconds I can’t look away.
Today, a year of curiosity, distant admiration, and modest stalking came to an end. After the inhale, for no reason, her head turned slightly and she opened her eyes. She caught me. We spent the next 2.5 seconds just looking at one another. It could have been magical, had the next 30 seconds not been a decent into chaos.
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What happens next? Meh, we may never know.
What we have here is an example of what makes me happy. It isn’t the story on the whole (or part, as the case may be), but a singular moment within. A moment that the reader never sees. It is between the author and the narrator.
It is a point where the narrator slips something in the writer didn’t see coming, much to both their delights.
That moment…that sneaky little unprepared bit of writing that leaps forward and fills one with the excitement of a first kiss? It is pure joy.
When I read a book I judge it by the number of times I am forced to set it down and marvel at a singular finely crafted passage. Elmore Leonard consistently provides five or more such moments. A good writer will offer up three delicious morsels and I will be fed.
Are you curious? Would you like to know, specifically, where in those 345 words I experience writing euphoria?
Okay, I’ll tell you.
I had thought about this little scene two days ago, while driving from Iowa City to Martelle. All of it, except one part. When I typed, “Are you an actress?” she had, in every instance that I’d imagined it, said, “No.” That was all.
The “I’m a gorilla,” just sort of showed up. It made me chuckle. Did you laugh? I hope so.
But it wasn’t just a laugh line that was the source, it was all that one infers about the type of person who would come up with such an answer. It speaks to her intelligence, as one couldn’t imagine a dullard being so quick. It shows a confidence in what wasn’t said afterwards.
Most people would feel compelled to explain, to answer the unsaid questions, “Why are you wearing a gorilla costume?” but not her. She is quite content to leave it at literal. It is playful and mysterious and, if I may be so bold, sexy as hell.
Is there more to the story? Yes, sure there is. I don’t know what it might be and it may never come to the page, but it’s out there.
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Did you enjoy my writing? If so, I’d love to have you as a reader. You can find me at Extremely Average! I write novels as serials.
That is what makes me happy.
Oh, and one more thing. People who subscribe to my blog. They make me doubly happy.
About The Author
Brian Meeks writes a blog at Extremely Average, and his Henry Wood Detective Agency books are published and for sale in paperback and also ebook. He’s been hawking his second book on a blog tour and doing a mighty fine job of it: Check out his Amazon second book.
Official Brian Meeks bio: He is a graduate of Iowa State University with a degree in Economics. He has also written a book about the 1986-87 Iowa Hawkeyes Men’s basketball team titled, Two Decades and Counting: the Streak, the Wins, the Hawkeyes Thru the Eyes of Roy Marble.
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I just know the dude better be inviting us all to the big party he will be throwing….
bdorman264 And, how! Or, should I say, And Henry! This cat is pretty cool…from the first time I blogjacked his absolutely empty blog and questioned his moniker, “Extremely Average,” I just knew he’d be a star.
bdorman264 Yes!
bdorman264 I’m more than happy throwing a party, but I’ll probably need a couple of you to plan it…I’m horrible at that sort of thing.
ExtremelyAvg bdorman264 Oh, that could be dangerous…very dangerous, right Bill? Right Soulati | B2B Social Media Marketing ? Right everyone?
KDillabough ExtremelyAvg bdorman264 Soulati | B2B Social Media Marketing …so your saying it needs to be in Las Vegas?
KDillabough ExtremelyAvg bdorman264 Soulati | B2B Social Media Marketing I’m not in PR for nothin’!
Soulati | B2B Social Media Marketing KDillabough ExtremelyAvg bdorman264 Oooooh…Vegas:)
ExtremelyAvg KDillabough bdorman264 Soulati | B2B Social Media Marketing Bla. Not Vegas. BOR-ING.
ExtremelyAvg bdorman264 On it!!
AlaskaChickBlog ExtremelyAvg bdorman264 OK my darlin”…get the party started!
I love mysterious people… the story that I create in my head is always better than reality.
I love it, too, when the writing takes off and surprises me. It’s such a freeing feeling.
Oh boy! a new great book to read AND a party??? I’m in! I love Henry by the way and Brian’s way of spinning a story. Congrats Brian.
equuisdancer22 I’m so glad you’re excited about the new Henry Wood book. It is always nice to hear from a reader.
equuisdancer22 Shadow face!! Fix dat!
AlaskaChickBlog I tried..I don’t know why it does it sometimes and not others!!!!! my profile pic is on google +!! Help!
equuisdancer22 AlaskaChickBlog Go to Gravatar.com and register the image you like for your avatar. Soon, it will populate automagically everywhere you go.
Soulati | B2B Social Media Marketing equuisdancer22 AlaskaChickBlog Thank you, Thank you!
Anyone having trouble with the Twitter share on the share bar?
Soulati | B2B Social Media Marketing No, it worked fine for me. 🙂
Soulati | B2B Social Media Marketing It even worked for me!
And, what a good example you set with your author image — looking right so the natural eye goes over to the author info. Good work! I know you planned that.
Brian. You are, my friend, hands down, one of my all time and forever… favorite humanoids.
Love it, love it, love it!!!
No joke. No exaggeration. Just fact of the matter.
I’m an elephant, by the way.
And don’t call me fat.
AlaskaChickBlog I love elephants. When I was little I bought my my an elephant with my own money. She raved about it so much that I still buy her elephants to this day. I think I was six. Elephants are cool.
Oh, I loved this. So enjoyable… on every level!
I’m so pleased that you enjoyed the post. I hope you’ll consider giving one of my novels a try. There is more yummy reading goodness in each one. 🙂
Mom2han8 Thanks for stopping in to support Brian, Mom2…appreciate it!
I absolutely loved the scene. You have to write more. This will be your next serial, okay?
StephanieBerget I just might. I’ve learned it is best to do what you, Julia, Betsy, and Barrett tell me to do. First, though, I need to get back into the Teddy groove.
StephanieBerget Any relation to Jens? I see a cowboy hat, so I’m thinking NOT! Welcome!
Soulati | B2B Social Media Marketing StephanieBerget No, Berget is my grandmother’s maiden name. Mine is Bochenek.
StephanieBerget Soulati | B2B Social Media Marketing Welcome!
StephanieBerget You asked this question back on April 27, 2013. At the time I had no idea. I’ve just reread it and decided that it will be a new serial. I’ll be switching from first to third person, because, well, nobody wants to read first person. Other than that this will be how the story opens.