There’s been so much written about avatars – how to get one, whether to use your face or a favorite image, how to use Gravatar to populate your mug all over the web, and much more.
Today, though, I’d like to address our aging avatars, and encourage (talking to myself here) an update. When you have a birthday, so does your avatar! But, it’s so easy to ignore my avatar’s birthday when I have one.
What prompted this post today were a few things:
**I went to a tradeshow and was shocked when meeting a few peeps in person because the images they’re using on the web look to be about 15 years younger.
**Someone said recently, “Omgosh, he looked nothing like his avatar; I didn’t know who he was in person.”
**And a prominent blogger decided to alter his avatar as a side view tweeting he didn’t want to show his face full on.
So with full disclosure and a lot of guilt, I am going to show you what I look like yesterday and last week. And, then, I’m going to update Twitter and Facebook, but I’m going to leave my really skinny face shot on LinkedIn (after I had lost 20 lbs a year ago which I need to do again). Why? Just because.
Why does it matter, you ask?
People are people, and gossip runs amok. Social media breeds tongue waggling, and if someone is going to suggest behind my back that “she’s chubby,” “she’s not very young anymore,” or “my gosh, she’s got a lot of gray hair!” then I’m going to be the first to admit it instead of hiding behind a cuter, younger, leaner me.
We’re a tough crowd, and coming clean that I’m 50-years-old and a mother of a 9-year-old is therapeutic in and of itself. No sense hiding what’s true, is there?
Gorgeous!
Avatars are wonderful, and horrible. When you think about it, having a 32×32 avatar to represent you, your business, your personality, or the image you’re trying to project … you’re trying to sum up all of that meaning with 1024 DOTS. Make sure they’re good dots 🙂 Please don’t get those dots from a cell phone, have a professional or at least a friend who knows what they’re doing get your dots. I like the idea of updating the avatar, maybe on your birthday, or new years. Keep it recent, even if you’re not feeling so ‘recent’ 🙂
ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? Who are you to talk? Ribbit! Ray, how about one single glimpse of you! Come out from behind the frog and bridge dang it. You’re brave for coming by to comment; you knew I’d give you grief, my friend!!! LOL LOL!
I’m gonna bring the community over to push you to the edge, man!
Actually, in response to a post earlier in the year about the schools bmi testing, I had posted a (rare) picture of myself talking about how much bodies can change. Today (my birthday), I’m happy to say I’ve broken back under 200lbs – 199.6 to be exact 🙂
https://steeltoad.com/pictures/bodieschange.jpg
OK, wow! You are a handsome dude!! Congrats on the weight loss, too! It’s tough (I know, I did it twice…heh). Seriously! Put your mug up, Ray!
“handsome dude” ?? – I notice that you’re not wearing eyeglasses in your avatar. You do realize that the eyesight is one of the first things to go right (lol)
Well said Jayme. I started out with just a Top 10 logo for an avatar then went through a profile phase until I came out fully with the full face version a few months ago. Glad I did, it’ s good to show who you really are to the world although I don’t think I’ll feel the need to renew it each birthday – I suspect at my age the only difference will be a little less hair so no one will notice anyway!
For what it’s worth I think your latest version looks just great 🙂
Well, I didn’t start out trying to earn compliments, but, sheesh, I’ll take them all day long!! Thanks, Tony! Would you mind sharing your blog link here? I must get that app so I can stop in to visit without asking…thanks!
Of course, you can find my humble efforts at https://www.thetop10blog.com/
If you click on my avatar it takes you there as well I think – these avatars are handy things 🙂
Ah-hah…should’ve known that; but a little link love never hurts, right? Just left your house!
Well said Jayme. I started out with just a Top 10 logo for an avatar then went through a profile phase until I came out fully with the full face version a few months ago. Glad I did, it’ s good to show who you really are to the world although I don’t think I’ll feel the need to renew it each birthday – I suspect at my age the only difference will be a little less hair so no one will notice anyway!
For what it’s worth I think your latest version looks just great 🙂
Jayme, both you and your daughter are lovely. And I have to say, when I met you, I thought “yep, she looks like her avatar!” So you were not as guilty as some I have met (names not mentioned to protect their guilty).
I’ve seen this in the non-social-media-world too. I went to hear a famous American poet read. My friends, some strangers, and I were all trying to find our way into the auditorium…and I didn’t realize until one of the strangers took the stage that I’d just spent the last 5 minutes with said poet. She was easily THIRTY YEARS older than her photo. I didn’t recognize her at all. Had I known I would have acknowledged her, but as far as I was concerned, I was walking around with an aging woman in a little girl’s tea party dress (it was a bizarre experience all around). And one of the poems she read was about her aging and her acceptance of it!
Don’t be that poet, blog reader.
That’s a heckuva story, Jenn! I imagine an FB community gets more updated images while a blog or LinkedIn doesn’t.
Jayme, both you and your daughter are lovely. And I have to say, when I met you, I thought “yep, she looks like her avatar!” So you were not as guilty as some I have met (names not mentioned to protect their guilty).
I’ve seen this in the non-social-media-world too. I went to hear a famous American poet read. My friends, some strangers, and I were all trying to find our way into the auditorium…and I didn’t realize until one of the strangers took the stage that I’d just spent the last 5 minutes with said poet. She was easily THIRTY YEARS older than her photo. I didn’t recognize her at all. Had I known I would have acknowledged her, but as far as I was concerned, I was walking around with an aging woman in a little girl’s tea party dress (it was a bizarre experience all around). And one of the poems she read was about her aging and her acceptance of it!
Don’t be that poet, blog reader.
My avatar is only a few months old, but I am tired of seeing it. The problem for me is I feel like a fool asking people to take head shots of me!
You may, or may not, be amazed — but each of the avatars I use all over on all channels and in today’s blog post and on my blog are all self-shot images! With my Canon PowerShot and with my phone!
Just experiment — it’s kinda fun and then you can make fun of yourself in the process, too!
By the way…wonderful of you to stop in Krysia; thank you!
Thanks for the tip, I never would have guessed!
And awww, (blush) no problem 🙂
Jayme, isn’t it strange how different our self-image often is from the way others see us? Yesterday, I showed an elderly friend my Gravatar, and she said, “That doesn’t even look like you!” I told her it was taken professionally. She repeated, “But it doesn’t look like you at all.” One of the great things about getting older is we get more honest — have you noticed that?
My Gravatar/Facebook photo was taken by a professional photographer at a marketing event. I knew he’d be taking pictures that night, so naturally, I showed up the way I always do at business-related functions: with full makeup on, a nice jacket I only wear when making business appearances, jewelry, and my hair cut and colored. He had professional lights shining on me to get rid of shadows, and he even put me through all the modeling moves, too, encouraging me to move, laugh, “have fun,” and all that jazz.
But catch me in a non-business-atmosphere, like at the grocery store or bank? If you recognize me (now I’m not so sure!), you’ll find me wearing the most comfortable clothes I can find, and likely no makeup. And apparently, I look nothing like my Gravatar! ;o)
I think you’ve hit on what might be a good idea for social media platforms to implement, allowing you to present different avatars based on who’s looking. Perhaps business attire for professional contacts, sweats and a tshirt for friends, or a familiar shot for you family members.
We’ve never been so in tune with looks than now. I guess we have to thank social media for that, and not so sure I like this pathway, either. For me, it was an awakening b/c of how I reacted after seeing the reality versus the website images. (And, that wasn’t even social media, either!)
I confess…I take secret pleasure in those horrid pictures of celebrities on the covers of the tabloids. The ones that say, “See how celebs look without makeup!” or “Check out these celebs’ beach bodies!” They’re grounding.
And then I thank God I’m not famous!
I’ve seen some avatars updated over the past few months and some of them really are coming clean about their age–I’ve seen at least a 20-year difference in some. Others… not so much. We were on the phone, a LinkedIn pal and I, and I tried to attach an aged and rather jaded-sounding voice to the avatar that looked closer to my own age. She said she was a grandma before we chatted, but hearing it in person took some adjusting. No pressure or anything, but to me it’s something to pay attention to.
Oh, man. This is such a fascinating topic. People have a predisposed concept of age, don’t they? Great to see you today, Shakirah!
G’Day Jayme,
This might be OK for all youse handsome people. But what about those of us who were born ugly? I include a picture of me taken in 1985 so that people will be sympathetic about the cross i have to bear. And when was 50 years old? Youse youngsters………….!
Regards
Leon
Dear Leon,
I was hoping no one would catch that numeral; however, knowing you as I do, I couldn’t get it past you.
Sincerely,
Jayme
P.S. I can assure you, you’re the most handsome Aussie I know (next to Nicole Kidman and Crocodile Dundee, of course.)
First, you and your daughter are BEYOOOOTIFUL:) The avatars I use apparently look exactly like me, so that’s good…what you see is what you get. Cheers! Kaarina
Merci beaucoup!! Did you know there is an acronymn for that? WYSWIG!
Well, don’t that beat all? I learn something new every day:)
On the other end of the spectrum, I’m always kind of shocked when people will use a deliberately unflattering image of themselves as their avatar. I guess that’s when you get into the argument of perception – am I just seeing this picture in an unflattering light? Can the user not see it too? Granted, some people are more naturally blessed in the realm of photogenic-ness than others, but perhaps more recent images… just aren’t flattering? I personally don’t think I photograph that well, so I tend to keep the three or four shots of myself that I actually like in heavy rotation.
You’re definitely cute, Jayme. No need to hide. 🙂
You so Rock Hot, Emma! Thank you so much for saying so. And, in return, no way do you look bad in your photo!!
I can also relate to what you’re saying about others’ impressions of their own image, too!
This is important. We are who we are. Why do we want to hide behind something that doesn’t look ourselves?! It only causes complete shock when you show up in person and folks don’t recognize you. Not good.
Though, it as you’ve mentioned, I have the opposite problem – you thought I looked way older in my avatar than in real life. EEK! (BTW – I have a new photo coming soon!)Point is, we should embrace who we are and quit trying to pretend we’re something we’re not.
BTW – I LOVE that photo of you and your daughter. THAT is gorgeous, my friend.
I’m sorry I ever said that to you! You’re a sophisticated and professional woman and you work hard at projecting an image that works for you, Laura. People are so very worried about impressions others have; it’s all about esteem and confidence. What I really don’t like though are those who do hide behind an avatar that’s a dog or frog (ahem, Ray) b/c I love visualizing.
Thanks for saying kidlet and me are gorge…I am beaming!
Don’t be sorry at all! I love your honesty. I’m glad to know that my picture doesn’t look like me. You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t tell me what you really thought. 😉 That’s what I (and others), love about you. 🙂
And yes, I hate the cartoon avatars. Blegh. And on Facebook, I don’t like that people make them be their kid. It’s hard to want to connect with a three-year-old I’ve never met. How am I supposed to know who’s on the other end?
Thanks for assuring me…! What you said. Absolutely, Laura!
Nice post. There is definitely a psychology behind why people choose to use a particular image as their avatar. I don’t believe in using logos or random pictures as an avatar. Social networking is about people connecting to people, not logos, animals or anything else. Using an outdated or unflattering photo of yourself is no better. I recently met someone at an event and she said to me “you look just like your avatar!” My reply – “of course I do!” That’s the whole point. I have also seen someone with quite an unflattering photo as her avatar and I tried to tactfully suggest that she change/update it. No luck, but at least I tried.
I had forgotten I had done the same a few times! Everyone has reasons why and what they select for their avatar, and it’s interesting when you hear someone’s response, for sure. Love that you’re here today, Ms. Rasberry!!