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Sex, Drugs, Scandal — BAM!

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English: General David Petraeus in testimony

English: General David Petraeus in testimony (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Yet another one bites the dust. Former Army General David Petraeus who resigned as chief of the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency Nov. 9, 2012 is now a dishonored member of the Walk of Shame Club with such well-known celebrities as Armstrong, Woods, Clinton, Kennedy, Schwarzenegger, Edwards,  Sandusky, Weiner, Spitzer, and hundreds of others.

This post today has no tips on how to avoid such a scandal. This post today does nothing to support those dishonored. This post is merely a rant of disgust that We the People can no longer trust that our favorite athlete, elected official, appointed official and those we hold in the highest regard in the upper echelons of celebrity in this country will act professionally and without sexual or drug-induced scandal.

What the fuck? (The first time I’ve ever used this word in my writings here; I apologize to anyone offended.)

Instead of waiting for those we should trust to prove they’re dishonorable, should we already think they’re not trustworthy at the get go and that their “private” life is actually one of trysts and pseudonyms?  Are they just “too clean” and we should think there’s an affair somewhere behind the scenes?

How about this marriage thing? Every one of these gents above was married at the time of their disgrace. Not only do their wives and children suffer, the entire company or political office or sports team or foundation also suffer in tremendous shame and horror.

What can we do except open the paper and flick on the news with a click every day to see more of the same. Are you getting used to this sort of thing? Has it become mundane and old hat?

If so, then we have to stop and pull back to the core of our values and demand that those who lead this nation uphold public office and stop letting extreme power and alleged invincibility go to their body parts.  We have to stop accepting a smarmy, “I’m sorry,” and demand more; how about paying back tax payers for the money it costs to investigate these scandals (especially if they sit in public office)?

I have no answers, Friends. Do you?

 

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Harvard B-School Prof Zeros In On Happiness

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“…once you articulate how success will be measured, everybody tries to game the system so that they are measured in the best possible way,” said Clayton Christensen, Harvard Business School professor and co-author of, “How Will  You Measure Your Life?“

Here’s one man who, in the last four years, suffered a heart attack, was diagnosed with cancer and had a stroke which caused him to learn to speak again one word at a time, is the embodiment of inspiration and how we need to forget about the pay check and live with a loving heart.

In my home, I’m teaching Kidlet to “live with a loving heart.” Each time she shares a fifth-grade drama story with me, I inform her to focus outward, live with loving heart and be kind.

Clayton Christensen is using theories from his new book in business school so that his students can find happiness and integrity. He shares the following, extracted from CNN Money, October 2012 in The Money Interview, “How Should You Measure Success? Management Guru Clayton Christensen Says To Total Up Your Relationships, Not Your Pay Checks.”

What’s below is an extrapolation from the article, so I alert you. I am so enamored of this interview and this man’s amazing heart (at Harvard no less!), that I had to put it here for you, too.

Clayton Christensen says, “I believe that the source of our deepest happiness comes from investments we make in intimate relationships with our spouse, children and close friends.

There’s a big difference between motivation (in the workplace) and incentives. Many of the factors we think will cause motivation, such as fair pay and a good manager, won’t make you love your job.

The things that really make our careers are almost always the opportunities that inadvertently arise. We need to have a better balance between a deliberate strategy and staying open.

The satisfaction you get from investing in other people stays with you your whole life.

Be impatient for profits (in business). Get to market quickly as you can with the least money possible to figure out, “Does this strategy work, or do I need to tweak it?”

The more I focused on the problems in my life, the more miserable I was. Every day of my life I need to find somebody else who I could help to become a better person. Once I started to reorient my life in this direction, the happiness returned.

The most important piece of planning for retirement most of us need to think about…is, ‘How are we still going to orient our lives on helping other people become better people?’”

My Thoughts

This interview moved me so much I immediately sat down to write. This man, “arguably one of the most influential thinkers in management today,” has put his personal health crisis into constructive teachings for others to create a legacy based on helping others succeed, focus outward and not engage in self pity.

Each of the bullets above, extracted from his interview in Money magazine, are solid reminders and counsel for each of us to look within and determine if narcissism or nurturing control our way of life?

And, please do find and read Peg Fitzpatrick’s blog posts I’ve included here. After I wrote this piece, Peg’s post on Happiness Jars appeared the next day; talk about good karma in support of my happiness pathway. For me, the word, “happy” is elusive. I never know how to answer it when someone asks me whether I am, so I never do. I skirt it. The bar is so high, the expectation so fierce to be “happy.” What about you? Do you answer that question with a resounding “YES?” Can you?

 

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This Business of Breasts

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October. The. Pink. Month.

Who doesn’t know by now that Is this the month that companies must do or die? The local fire engine is now pink — really? How many tax payer dollars were used for that?

(Aside: This is not a post against victims and survivors of breast cancer; I have the utmost compassion for their plight.)

I’m wondering how the gents feel each October; I wonder if prostate cancer should have a huge splash, too.

This business of breasts is quite the marketing opportunity for companies to show ‘raderie. Heck, it seems girls and women’s bodies are incredible treasures of opportunity for pharmaceutical companies.

 Merck’s Gardasil

Gardasil, the Merck creation of a series of three injections for pre-sexual teen girls to ward off human papillomavirus which causes cervical cancer, recently …albeit the drug launched in 2007. Turns out one of the side effects was fainting on the day of the shot (do you think that was purely anxiety for these young ladies?).

The Texas governor Rick Perry mandated all girls get the shot while 24 states launched legislation requiring all school girls to get the shot in 2007 prior to safety studies.

Barr Pharma Plan B Contraceptive

How about the from Barr Pharmaceuticals called Plan B, to all the teen-age girls’ families throughout 50 schools in the 1-million student body?

The Associated Press broke the story Sept. 26, 2012 .

It’s being given to teenage girls many who have yet to have intercourse and to parents who have the option to opt out of the program. Only 1 to 2 percent of parents refused.

Here’s more:

  • More than 7,000 New York City girls ages 15 to 17-years-old get pregnant each year.
  • More than 2/3 of those pregnancies end in abortion.

A parent and president of the parent association at a high school on Staten Island quoted in the story by the Associated Press said, “The children nowadays are not going to abstain from sexual intercourse. How many unwed mothers do we need?”

How Do You Feel? 

As a mother of a 10-year-old girl, I cringe. The message I hear for our daughters is one promoting promiscuity with a drug safety net. Let’s not even address birth control measures for teenage girls, either.

Boys and Condoms

Here’s what I’d like to know…are condoms being passed out to families and all the teenage boys in high schools? Are boys suffering the consequence of teenage pregnancy as well as the girls? Do boys have to carry around the computerized babies that actually throw a tantrum, puke and poop in the night? I have never seen a boy carrying those faux babies; but, they should!

From what I’ve read of late, the consequence of teen intercourse is a one-sided situation skewed to the girls. When pink October arrived with a bang on the heels of the Gardasil news last week and the morning-after pill the week prior, I knew I had to speak.

This about firing up your blog pushed me over the edge to publish.

I’m a concerned mother of a pre-teen daughter, a business owner who sees females being exploited in pharmaceuticals, and a parent on the fence about these new fixes that may or may not be a good thing. I just don’t know yet.

What I do know is that gender inequality about this business of breasts and sexual promiscuity is alive and well.

Bring it…

 

 

 

Behind Every Blog Is A Person

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Yesterday, I permitted my fears (unfounded or not) to come directly to these pages for all the world to see. I asked for a hug, and you came out in my support. You also came out to whoop me upside the head and say “snap out of it already.”

Yes, I needed that and thank you.  I also needed to be a person, a human with fears and emotions, and needs. I needed to know if there was comfort in my future or uncertainty? I needed to vent the unsettledness that ruled me yesterday and the days prior to clear the way for the get-up-and-go ‘tude you all have come to expect from me.

Did you read The Jack B today? I just did before I sat down to crank out this post. He’s certainly sharing some thoughtful, personal, frightening, raw thoughts because he is a person behind his blog — real, fighting for his family’s future and his own.

We learned of the passing of someone’s child via a blog post recently, and this threw everyone into a tailspin. We heard of another losing his job with four children at home, and that provoked support and encouragement. We learned that a Twitter pal had found love and employment, and that has put him on a path of happiness.

You see, each of us has to be human at some point or another. Without that kind of persona occasionally peeking through, a blog would be merely mechanical and cold.

I want to say that your comments from yesterday’s post assured me we’re all in this together, regardless of whether we live in Costa Rica, Canada or Sweden. When someone is going through a rough spot, and seeks a bit of acknowledgment that it’s all going to be okay, a community becomes more than family. It becomes a hug.

So, while I allowed myself to show a bit of unusual behavior recently (stemming from a financial decision I made that has me fearful and positive), you saw a human behind this blog.

Thank you, kind family.

Life Stress Interferes With Blogging

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Eat Chocolate! By Jayme Soulati

For nearly a week blog fodder mojo has stymied me. I have been paralyzed due to my disgust for the state of affairs in this world that profoundly affects my psyche and healthy outlook for my future. I wasn’t planning on writing about it until just now when the August 28, 2012 Wall Street Journal Health & Wellness section caught my eye. It seems fortuitous that I can validate my thinking and my blog posts with a national story that only enhances the fact that I am a worrywart.

The story, “Tricks from the Elderly to Stop Worrying; People Learn to Put Aside Negative Emotions and Focus on the Present, Which Leads to Healthy Aging,” makes a bold statement I hope to emulate when I’m older but it won’t help me today:

“The elderly learn to disentangle themselves from feelings of negativity and seem to focus more on present situations that bring pleasure, rather than on the future, researchers say.  They also tend to process negative information less deeply than positive information.”

And, there’s a great chart that says people in midlife tend to worry the most from about age 40 to early 50s, after which feelings of worry decrease. Talk about validation! There you have it; my paralysis of fear and worry corroborated by the Wall Street Journal!

So, I’ll get all these things off my chest and on to yours, and I’m hoping I’ll feel so much the better when I’m double nickels:

  • Mr. Akin running for U.S. Senate is disturbing. As a woman, as a mother, as voter, as a citizen of a free and progressive country where the fight for equality, the right to vote and the right to make choices I expect more from U.S. “leaders” who want to run this country and who insist on making ignorant statements. Does he have a daughter, a wife, a granddaughter?
  • The daily news of killings and shootings of innocent people attending religious institutions, movie theaters, schools, and retail establishments is out of control. I am seriously contemplating learning how to manage and carry a weapon of self-defense.
  • The cost of consumer goods and services continues to skyrocket yet no consumer or family is earning more income to support the ability to pay more at the cash register and fuel pump (today’s gas per gallon in my region is $3.95). American families are being gouged; something has to give.
  •  The medical and health care system in this country is in utter disarray. Hospitals are buying physician practices and charging triple the amount for the same MRI a person had three months ago. Insurance premiums go up annually (I have a $4500 deductible and so does my daughter; yet, I now pay $400/month for health insurance we can’t use, and I pay cash for dental.)
  • States are fighting down party lines against and for Affordable Health Care; what about the residents in those states who align with the new health care act who want those benefits but can’t due to governors who are blocking programs? What about those in the states who don’t want to buy health insurance but have to?
  • How can I afford to help pay for my child’s college when tuition and text books are skyrocketing annually with no end in sight?
  • Can I retire ever knowing I never had a corporate job to begin socking money into retirement early and knowing I will never have enough to be comfortable when I’m old?
  • If I out live the Medicare program and Social Security runs dry (as I expect it to), how will my golden years be supplemented with the money I’ve paid in since I was a13-year-old corn detassler?
  • People in this country hate each other so much, and I hear frequently how some wouldn’t mind seeing a few politicians lose more than an election. The anger is palpable and it’s harmful to positive attitude, and caring for human kind.
  • There’s been a swarm of earthquakes 130 miles east of San Diego over several days. Is the big one coming? There is drought in the U.S. racking up prices for grain, beef and other commodities. Rain and tropical storms are pummeling coastlines and the European continent. How can any of us prepare for eventual catastrophe?

Our children’s future is bleak. My future is pressurized by the need to provide for my child and ensure that I, as an aging parent with aging parents and a 10-year-old, am NOT a burden to my family.

There’s a lot on my plate and on yours (feel free to add your stressors below; it feels better).

On occasion I have to dump it all upside down and see where the balls land. I have to do a better job managing the stress, and I have to do it with exercise, proper nutrition and love.

May I have a hug, please?