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The Happy Friday Series: Smiles From Alaska

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Our The Happy Friday Series continues with a steady stream of guest authors I am so delighted to welcome and appreciate (I hope you do, too). Today, we’re happy to warmly greet Ms. Amber-Lee Dibble aka Alaska Chick aka Pioneer Outfitters (got any more brands I missed, Amber-Lee? Heh, that’s a years-long joke between us smilers.) Amber-Lee is the voice and face of Chisana, Alaska. She lures wild-westers to the remote Alaska expanse of these 50 states with images of wild-game hunting, frozen tundras navigable only by snow machines, and cozy fires with all the kids and hot chocolate. She’s one of the most admirable bloggers I know, and she can spin a yarn…see what she has to say today about happy!

 

Amber-Lee Dibble

Amber-Lee Dibble

Amber-Lee Dibble Says:

I was invited to Jayme’s #RockHot Happy Friday Series to share a little of the happiness I have found in Alaska.

Now, Jayme really is pretty wiley because she is well aware how much I actually dislike Friday’s in general, but I must admit, this series has given me a few smiles too, so I’ll pay my dues this week.

Happy, happiness, happily.

Despite what stories and fairy tales may lead one to believe, happiness isn’t sprinkled over your aura by magic. It isn’t something that happens to you. YOU, are the magic, YOU are the only one who can create it.

Do you know what makes you happy? Aside from the big deal, the win, the things you’ve worked so hard for, do you know what so many people have forgotten or don’t realize?

The Little Things

It’s the little things. They are called “Little things” because they are so easy, and we tend to take them for granted.

A smile, from a complete stranger, has the power (almost like magic!) to pull a smile from you in return, from a busy and preoccupied mind, worried about the sick children, worried about the bills and if you are going to be late for that meeting you are headed to; that is the power of a smile.

We are taught that we have to work hard, even struggle for what is important in life. A smile is so easy, it’s like breathing, so it must not be important, right? Wrong. A smile is the most powerful piece of magic we have to call our own.

I read an interesting statistic as I was fiddling around the other day, online. It is estimated that we, as humans, have about 60,000 thoughts a day. How many of those, I wonder, are happy thoughts?

There are endless sources of advice on how to be happy and they all have one thing in common; they don’t cost a thing.

Pioneer Outfitters' Amazing Amber-Lee Dibble

Pioneer Outfitters’ Amazing Amber-Lee Dibble

Look For the Bright Side

No matter how bad things can get, tomorrow always comes with another chance. Maybe not a complete “do-over” but with an entire day of opportunity, to do something, to meet someone, to see something, hear something…
Forgive.Yourself and others.

Forgiveness is a HUGE gift. To yourself and to others. Holding something dark inside yourself is like going out and asking for cancer. It eats at you, physically and emotionally. Forgive the pain, forgive the mistake, forgive the bad or evil done. Forgive it all, remember the lesson(s) it taught you and just let it go. Let. It. Go.

Be grateful.

Gratitude is a beautiful thing. Appreciate what you do have. Even if is only that you woke up this morning, remember the whole day could be a downpour of blessings. It is more than saying thank you to someone holding the door, it is a sense of appreciation and wonder to the life that offers you this kindness.

Take care of you.

Yes, I am going to say it. Exercise. People who get outside, breathe, move around, go for a walk, take a ride or work out are happier. Why? Because they feel good. They are healthier. Eating right, resting and exercising makes you feel that wonderful thing called happiness. Your body deserves to be happy too!

Smile!
There are studies that insist that smiling (the movement caused by the muscles in your face) elevates your mood. It is absolutely contagious and smiles cause (yes, causes) happiness and happiness creates more smiles!

And lastly, remember that you are not alone in this thing we call life. There are people just waiting to meet you, waiting for the day to change your life, waiting for the day that you will change theirs.

Be happy. It’s Friday.

P.S. Did you know that there is a small town in Alaska named Happy Valley? There is!

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The Happy Friday Series: Glass Half Empty & Happy

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A woman I designated as  Social Media Woman of the Year 2012 graces us today with her always unique perspective on life, topics and happenstance. I encourage your read today as we continue The Happy Friday Series with awesome guest appearances thus far by Peg Fitzpatrick, Susan Silver and Paula Kiger. Jenn Whinnem is our guest today, and you may want to read her “coming out” story that debuted on this blog in 2010 before you read what’s below.

Jenn Whinnem Says:

credit: sodahead.com

credit: sodahead.com

The Glass is Half Empty and I Couldn’t be Happier.

Come here. Want to hear a secret? Here’s how I survived public humiliation and other fallout from:

  • Having to leave my dream college, one year in
  • Unemployment
  • Canceling my own wedding two months beforehand
  • The slow ratcheting up of an ultimately fatal illness
  • Several romances gone south (like all the way to the south pole, hanging out with the penguins south)

Until age nine, I drank a lot of Mylanta, because I was a really nervous kid and my stomach hurt from being so nervous. The short version was that I was terrified at all times that I would embarrass myself in public.

But then I got philosophy!

At age nine or so, I read Sixth Grade Can Really Kill You. “What are you so afraid of?” someone asks the protagonist. “The worst it can do is kill you.”

The light bulb went off. I was so relieved, I cried. Public humiliation would hurt, but not kill me.

Yeah, at age nine, I accepted my death, and put down the Mylanta. If I did in fact die, okay, I’d be dead, so it wouldn’t matter. But nobody was going to kill me if I said the wrong thing to a relative at my birthday party or accidentally farted in the grocery store.

Some people this is really weird, or even dark, that a nine year old thought about death like this. But I never was an optimist. I’m also not a pessimist. I consider myself more of an absurdist.

Here is the resiliency I developed as a result of my philosophy:

  • Any time I found myself in a rotten situation, I would determine the worst case scenario
  • It wouldn’t be death
  • So then I’d figure out how to deal with the other inevitable losses
  • And I’d FIND the humor in it (this is the absurd part).

See, if it doesn’t kill you, it’s just going to be inconvenient. Don’t sweat inconvenient. Take a day to sulk, then suck it up and be done with it.

Someone sues you? Hire a lawyer. Can’t afford one? Whatever, you can make it work. Clients haven’t paid you, and you are going to miss your mortgage payment? Be late on your payment. Take charge of what you can control.

It’s not that I think that any of this is ideal. I’d rather not be sued or default on my mortgage. But here’s what you’ll find:

  • You don’t feel powerless anymore. You have an ACTION PLAN.
  • Since you’re focused on action and not victimhood, people will crawl out of the woodwork to help you. Emotional drowning scares good helpers away. (it is okay to feel blech, but not to drown).
  • At least one person you know has been in your situation and knows how to navigate it.

Optimism didn’t really work for me. What did work was embracing reality, having a good laugh, and getting ON with it.

What’s your strategy for minimizing freak-outs when life hands you a lemon tree?

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The Happy Friday Series: Everyone’s Happy!

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kidsfaceHappiness is pervasive; everywhere you look and listen, someone is talking about studies on happiness at academic levels, about books they’re reading, about happiness jars they’re creating, and the love they have for their fellow man.

I applaud them all. We need more positive spirit and positive mental attitude and smiles and giggles and belly laughs to endure the constant stream of negativity, backlash and strife in this entire world.

Peggy Fitzpatrick is one of the happiest women I know; every day, her avatar greets us with that infectious wide grin complete with a sprinkling of stars in various colors behind her head. Her posts are always positive, always supportive, always full of love, and generosity. Her spirit is so alive, and she leads the 12Most.Com community with Paul Biedermann. Run to her blog and Facebook community or Twitter to see what I mean.

Happiness jars are being crafted all over and posted online. Do you know why? Because we need to share the good things we’re thankful for and recognize what makes us laugh and smile every day.

Did you know laughter is the best medicine? Not kidding; that tired old cliché is tried and true – laughter indeed makes the heart healthier. And, it releases the negative acids and endorphins and hormones into the sky leaving you with a rosy feeling and a spritely step.

On Fridays, please hold me to it, we’re going to find GOOD news that brings a smile to your psyche. Maybe it will make you happy, or maybe it will send away a negative thought, or two.

And, to make this really work, I’d like your help…here’s how:

  1. Guest Post here on a Friday about happiness, good mental energy, spiritual positiveness (yep, word coin), laughs, or whatever tickles you. I don’t mind if you have no blog of your own and want to get your feet wet. Send me 400 words if you don’t know what to write; we’ll get a story going.
  2. Share in comments something you saw or read that makes you or made you happy. I’ll cover it here.
  3. Send me links to happy stuff, and I’ll sprinkle them in the channels.
  4. Join my Bloggers Unite! Community on Google+ — we’re nearing 90 members and growing. It’s where we lend some levity to our seriousness with banter, XO and LOL. Knowing that Alaska Chick Blog of Pioneer Outfitters (yes, it’s Amber-Lee Dibble) is my co-moderator should bring a smile right off.

What think? Join me in our collective pursuit of happiness, would you? All writers and stories welcome. You will smile; that’s the goal.

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Harvard B-School Prof Zeros In On Happiness

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“…once you articulate how success will be measured, everybody tries to game the system so that they are measured in the best possible way,” said Clayton Christensen, Harvard Business School professor and co-author of, “How Will  You Measure Your Life?“

Here’s one man who, in the last four years, suffered a heart attack, was diagnosed with cancer and had a stroke which caused him to learn to speak again one word at a time, is the embodiment of inspiration and how we need to forget about the pay check and live with a loving heart.

In my home, I’m teaching Kidlet to “live with a loving heart.” Each time she shares a fifth-grade drama story with me, I inform her to focus outward, live with loving heart and be kind.

Clayton Christensen is using theories from his new book in business school so that his students can find happiness and integrity. He shares the following, extracted from CNN Money, October 2012 in The Money Interview, “How Should You Measure Success? Management Guru Clayton Christensen Says To Total Up Your Relationships, Not Your Pay Checks.”

What’s below is an extrapolation from the article, so I alert you. I am so enamored of this interview and this man’s amazing heart (at Harvard no less!), that I had to put it here for you, too.

Clayton Christensen says, “I believe that the source of our deepest happiness comes from investments we make in intimate relationships with our spouse, children and close friends.

There’s a big difference between motivation (in the workplace) and incentives. Many of the factors we think will cause motivation, such as fair pay and a good manager, won’t make you love your job.

The things that really make our careers are almost always the opportunities that inadvertently arise. We need to have a better balance between a deliberate strategy and staying open.

The satisfaction you get from investing in other people stays with you your whole life.

Be impatient for profits (in business). Get to market quickly as you can with the least money possible to figure out, “Does this strategy work, or do I need to tweak it?”

The more I focused on the problems in my life, the more miserable I was. Every day of my life I need to find somebody else who I could help to become a better person. Once I started to reorient my life in this direction, the happiness returned.

The most important piece of planning for retirement most of us need to think about…is, ‘How are we still going to orient our lives on helping other people become better people?’”

My Thoughts

This interview moved me so much I immediately sat down to write. This man, “arguably one of the most influential thinkers in management today,” has put his personal health crisis into constructive teachings for others to create a legacy based on helping others succeed, focus outward and not engage in self pity.

Each of the bullets above, extracted from his interview in Money magazine, are solid reminders and counsel for each of us to look within and determine if narcissism or nurturing control our way of life?

And, please do find and read Peg Fitzpatrick’s blog posts I’ve included here. After I wrote this piece, Peg’s post on Happiness Jars appeared the next day; talk about good karma in support of my happiness pathway. For me, the word, “happy” is elusive. I never know how to answer it when someone asks me whether I am, so I never do. I skirt it. The bar is so high, the expectation so fierce to be “happy.” What about you? Do you answer that question with a resounding “YES?” Can you?

 

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